Thread: "OLD FARTS"

I'm younger than I thought I was! Score of 10. Yes!!!

Damn I missed NONE, I must be an old FART!

Great questions. I missed two.

10 for 10. I'm only 56, but I remember most of this from listening to my parents and grandparents talk about. I do remember the Royal Crown starch bottles, and green stamps, and Butch wax for my flat tops, and milk on the porch. It could sit out most the day without spoiling. Not like milk today. And I remember going to Piggly Wiggly and watching my Mom fill up to 2 shopping carts (to the top) with groceries for $25.00. It would take 30 minutes to get it all in the trunk of our Pontiac Star Chief. Gas was 18 cents a gallon.
And stations would have gas wars to see who could sell it the cheapest. Also remember my grandmother chasing down a chicken in the yard, wringing it''s neck, and bringing it in the house. She'd sit it in the sink for hours before she plucked it and cut it up without it spoiling. The chicken they produce today would have spoiled in 20 minutes at room temperature. Those were the days.
My favorite things to do in the summer when I was a kid would be to take a long straw and bottle opener and go to the neighorhood corner store (Braswell's). The old chest type coke machines held the bottles upright in sliding racks. Pop the top, and drink all you wanted. Until the owner came running out and chased you down the street.
Life was good. Now I do feel old.

+1 on the free soda thing.

at the doctor's office where my mom worked they had an old mechanical pepsi machine that would spit out glass bottles for 25 cents. i would offer to get everyone pops on a hot day and take up a collection from my friends. if i stuck my arm up there just right i could turn 4 bottles end up and hit the jackpot for a quarter. everyone got what they paid for, i drank pop for free and pocketed $0.75 each round. that seemed ok to me because the doctor could afford it and it wasn't much different than the procedures he was performing inside the office anyways.

i'm pretty sure they knew was doing it but he never said anything. maybe he figured it was cheaper to let me take a few sodas than have to give my mom a raise so she could pay the fines down at juvie.

And there was virtuous industrious little bee-me and friends, cruised the roadside ditches for the glass pop bottles the careless folk tossed out their winders. One by one the bags would fill up, take a hike to the little store down the road, turn them in for cash! money for candy. Earned, satisfaction at a job well done, plus civic contribution-roadside cleanup. Got something like 1-2 cents per bottle (or was it 5?-us AOF's start forgetting eventually-that's Almost Old Farts for the rest of you). Prolly was 5 cents. Heyday of Johnson/Nixon inflation and recessions in the early 70s. 56-10/10, puts us in the same AOF category, jrwash.

We would to get 2 or 3 cents for a small bottle and 5 cents for a big one that was in CA. It varied from state to state.

Sam goes to the doctor for his yearly checkup. “Everything is fine”, said the doctor, “You’re doing OK for your age.” “For my age?” questioned Sam, “I’m only 75, do you think I’ll make it to 80? “Well” said the doctor, “do you drink or smoke?” “No” Sam replied. “Do you eat fatty meat or sweets?” “No” said Sam “I am very careful about what I eat.” “How about your activities? Do you engage in thrilling behaviors like speeding or skiing? “No” said Sam taken aback, “I would never engage in dangerous activities.” “Well,” said the doctor, “then why in the world would you want to live to be 80?

Read more: Old People Jokes Old People Jokes

There are 3 Ages of Man: youth, middle age, and you look good!

Remember When...
Memory was something you lost with age
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano
A web was a spider's home
A virus was the flu
A CD was a bank account
A hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And if you had a 3-inch floppy . . . You just hoped nobody ever found out!

While working the lunch shift at a local restaurant, I watched as an elderly couple eat. It seemed as if the man was the only one eating. First his appetizer, then his main course, and then finally his dessert. All the while with his wife just looking on, not even touching her food. Confused, I approached the woman and asked if there was anything I could get for her. “No thank you,” came her answer, “it’s his turn with the teeth.”