Thread: Screwy News

Porn really is bad for you! Lonely Japanese man who amassed a SIX-TON pile of dirty magazines died when it collapsed on top of him... and his body wasn't found for six months

Read more: Man dies under his six-ton pile of porn magazines | Daily Mail Online

So this is what a protest looks like in Pensacola....

Screen Shot 2017-03-04 at 9.06.28 PM.jpg

The extreme quality of recent Screwy News is reaching new Highs.

Coffee shop opens for non-morning people - Grumpy Fuckers

“I had to get up at 5am to get the bastard shop open. I hated it. Most people are still sleeping at that time. We opened the shop at 6am and by 7am, we’d already sold out of ‘F*ck You Frappuccinos’ as well as our ‘P*ss Poor Tea’. Every f*cker who came in had a face on them like a slapped arse so I closed the shop at 8am so I could go home and get some proper sleep like most people do.”

Wow. Just wow.

After Motorcyclist’s ‘Dangerous Stunt’ on 60 Freeway, Officials Work to Block Copycats | KTLA

Ski instructor gets impaled by branch, reconsiders lip piercing trend | Fox News

A Wyoming ski instructor got into a bit of a sticky situation when he was impaled by an 18-inch tree branch while trying to jump between two trees on March 1.

“Holy crap, I just got impaled,” Hagood said. He then joked, “Hey look, I got a new piercing.”

Hagood is now recovering from his mishap, but is in good spirits because he can drink beer through a straw.

there's always a bright side.

Originally Posted by burrocrat

Ski instructor gets impaled by branch, reconsiders lip piercing trend | Fox News



there's always a bright side.

He ain't right either.

Originally Posted by jpcavin

He ain't right either.

maybe so, who's to judge? but he for damn sure is a better skier than sonny bono.

Originally Posted by burrocrat

maybe so, who's to judge? but he for damn sure is a better skier than sonny bono.

I would have to agree.

Topless French election candidate hopeful is arrested | Daily Mail Online
"A former stripper who wants to run for the French presidential election was arrested for parading topless in the street to promote transparency."

Defense lawyer's pants catch fire during arson trial | Fox News

Jurors trying to assess the truthfulness of defense lawyer Stephen Gutierrez's closing arguments in an arson trial Wednesday may have been dismayed to notice that his pants were literally on fire.
Witnesses say the lawyer had to flee the Miami courtroom with smoke billowing from his pocket, the Miami Herald reports.

lawyer, lawyer, pants on fire...

what are the odds that an ecig in a pants pocket catches on fire? in a courtroom? to the defense lawyer in an arson case? whose defense for his client accused of setting his own car on fire due to spontaneous combustion? then his pants appear to spontaneously combust in front of the jury? hmmm.

funny funny stuff.