Thread: YAY! My first deployment 'money fight' with wife - over TSP!

Hello TSP---

A house is also an excellent investment. In the last ten years. I'm surethat home value has went up faster and higher than a TSP investment. I paid$68,000 for my home in 1994. Itis now worth$119,000. Assuming that the housing bubble does'nt burst, I haveexcellent capital gains in my home. This appears to be the norm across the country.

Hi Captain,

Unfortunately you have just encountered one of the lesser know realties of life, and that is it is a proven fact that women make better investors. They are more conservative and less willing to take on risk - as a class of investor. Maybe it's time to delegate some responsibility and let her handle some of that excess change you will have around. She just might surprise you and get some satisfaction at the same time. Encourage her to sock it away in her own deferred comp plan with the new employer. She'll do just fine. Take care.

Dennis

TSP@ti2de wrote:

Now I'm trying to figure out how to convince her that this is righteous... Any takers?

Give her Edelman's book. :i

(from prior thread) ... http://www.tsptalk.com/mb/view_topic...o=24069#p24069

If you pay off your house, will you not lose a tax shelter?

Yes---You do lose a tax shelter. But you also loose a mortgage payment.

You could always buy a second house after the first one is paid off.

BTW, you still have county property tax in some states that are a tax deduction.

Let me help you out on this from experience....and the experience of others.

If someone takes offense to this well......To bad!

Most women in a marriage don't understand anything other than the money that they have now.Talking about future money is just a pipe dream for us boys and the market is a rip-off, we can't afford it, your throwing money away, you will lose it all then what? Sound familuar?

I work on a Army Base and I hear your problem all the time.....I went through it too. First, you will aways have bills! You will always have someone you owe money too that the nature of the beast. You need to pay yourself and your family first.

This is how you fix it....and it works.

1. Just do it! Start out with the minumim matching % that TSP offers. Otherwise you arejust cheating yourself.

2.Slowly raise your TSP % over a period of time. If you pay off an allotment raise your TSP %.Pay a bill...Raise your TSP %. You get the point.

3. THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE! Don't discuss it. Don't tell her. The money will be worth the future arguement. My wife found out several years later and was pissed....Then I showed her the balance. She has never said a word since and asks me how it's doing now.They will find out it's not a pipe dream.

I've have had a hand full of guys come to me and say thanks.....Because it works!

Chances are you will never convince her......Just do it or you will be a 70 year old man saying, "Welcome to wal-mart do you need a cart?".:*

Wow............and Amen Brother!:^

Let's play the devil's advocate: what if the wife was the one to go out there and just do it and not tell her husband until later? What would be his reaction if he thinks she has taken money away from paying the bills, or for something they had already planned for in the future? What if they have high credit card payments hanging over their heads, or a big house mortgage that he's trying to pay off. I can see the guy thinking that the wife is high maintenance on him and not working with him to help reduce their expenses.

TSP@ti2de wrote:

Rough night last night. I'm less than 48 hours from coming home on leave for a couple weeks, and made the mistake of bringing up my new financial priorities...

I was weaving through the previous thread, trying to figure out how I too can 'max' at $15K ASAP beginning this October, in addition to front-loading that10% savings plan.

Man, I shouldn'ta said anything... :shock:My wifegot all unglued, saying thatI deviated from my original intent of paying off the house (I will still have plenty of money to do this, I think)

I ran some 'optimistic' 30-year 8, 10, and 12% returns, and that's some HEFTY PAYBACK for not having to do anything else... the power of compounding... WOW!

$139,759.12

$237,946.39

$401,248.96

Now I'm trying to figure out how to convince her that this is righteous... Any takers?

perhaps u could talk her into a "dream house" in order to stay leveraged in re. with these low rates paying off a home loanmeans " i admit i can not earn 5.5% in anything else" to me.

maxing the tsp one would think is a no brainer, but in the end if she ain't happy u ain't happy:shock:

TSP@ti2de wrote:

Rough night last night. I'm less than 48 hours from coming home on leave for a couple weeks, and made the mistake of bringing up my new financial priorities...
... :shock:My wifegot all unglued, saying thatI deviated from my original intent of paying off the house (I will still have plenty of money to do this, I think)
Now I'm trying to figure out how to convince her that this is righteous... Any takers?

#1 -maybe you could start by examing your marriage realtionship. Consciously, or unconsciously, you have told us these are Your New financial priorities.

#2 - Also you might think on whether you have demonstrated your trustworthiness; whether there has been times of deviating from your word, intents before.

#3 - As far as righteousness, what are your guidelines for righteousness? How do you define this word?

#4 - obviously you need to sit down, clear the air, show what you feel is the right directionfor your monies; listen & consider what your partner in life has to say. Pros & cons for Both sides - Then call Larry Burkett's Money Matters/Crown Ministries for their pamphlets/tapes/bks on financial solidarity w/in the family.

grandma

mutton$ wrote:

Let's play the devil's advocate: what if the wife was the one to go out there and just do it and not tell her husband until later? What would be his reaction if he thinks she has taken money away from paying the bills, or for something they had already planned for in the future? What if they have high credit card payments hanging over their heads, or a big house mortgage that he's trying to pay off. I can see the guy thinking that the wife is high maintenance on him and not working with him to help reduce their expenses.

Devil's advocate is taking the opposite view & developing it from there. Your scenario is that the wife is going out and spendthrifting - leaving them deep in debt, making her a liability to this fellow. A better opposite would be, what if sheis already placing money onto the mortgage principal & onto other debts, & now he is changing his directions w/o presenting his case first. However, paying off the mortgage was no longer a priority for him-, so your comments are irrelevant to what you had intended to communicate - unless you did want to show the wife as a hindrance to him & his goals in life.

This young man has stated he did bring up to her he wanted to change directions - her reaction would naturally be one of fear, afterall how much of the time is she left by herself to do all the Managing, anyway? When he overcomes the natural tendency to say what He is going to do, and presents it as something he wants to discuss as a potential, they should get it okay - provided, of course, there is this mutual trust already in their histories.
grandma

(And in actuality,the Cpt has no debt except for his house, he is already maxing different places w/his paychecks, he is already funding forthe 2 kids' college days, and she has a good job, too. The collision course ends at the kitchen/dining table w/theirfiles/papers/cards laid out in the open.)