Thread: burrocrat's Account Talk

then the mexican walmart worker gal walked up too, she said i would need some yarn, what color do i like? oh man, this can't get any worse! she put her hand on my arm and pulled me (yes, she pulled me) down to the end where all the yarn was. omg, i'm trapped in a time warp and i can't get out. so she keeps grabbing different yarns and telling me about them "some are furrier, some are thin and soft" on and on. i was blushing so bad and i couldn't talk. the old gal was still there by the needles, the first gal was still at the other end of the aisle, and this mexigal got me trapped at the other end. it was like a pack of wolves!

well i had no idea there were so many kinds of pink. there are expensive thick furry wool kind, and slim cheap smooth kind. i didn't know what to do and i was really nervous so i just picked "perfect pink". and i got the hell out of there. whew, that was close, could've turned out bad.

so then i am walking down the rest of the aisles and i swear every woman in the store that i pass notices my cart with this big bundle of pink yarn in it. some just smile, it was like walking up to the checkout with condoms, a cucumber, mouthwash, and monistat and pretending everything is normal. i should've thought this out better and got the knitting stuff last. anyways, i am picking out some steaks and this gal is just standing there watching me, like a hawk. i get really flustered and just grab the first package and put it in my cart and go. it was beef short ribs, i can deal with it. when i pass her she says "nice meat you got there". holy ****!

it wasn't until i got out to the truck and locked the doors and let out a big shudder that i realized i forgot to look for a book on how to do some different stitches. but there is no way in hell i am going back in there. thank god for youtube. then i went straight home and took a shower and a nap. crazy day. i just wanted a hat.

if you want to find creepy ladies wandering walmart, monday mid-morning is a good time, try the craft aisles. guys, do not let your wife go shopping on monday mornings! keep her home and happy and safe.

I know it was Walmart, but were any of them cute? Makes a huge difference.







See what I did there!

Originally Posted by sgtbriangreen

I know it was Walmart, but were any of them cute? Makes a huge difference.




See what I did there!

all women are pretty, just in different ways. pretty sure they all were pink too, but i didn't hang around to find out.

girls are superpredators, i know this because i've felt the breath on the back of my neck, she had claws! gals rule the natural selection/evolution thing, they hold all the cards, they got the pink. just man up boys and get used to it.

Thanks for all the laughs! I'm not sure about your shopping list of embarrassing items (it may say a lot about you but that is probably for another thread...on another website)...

Tom, please, PLEASE!, let this conversation thread go on, and on! It has been slow around here lately and this one deserves to get read and referenced often!

Great story--all too funny Thanks for sharing...but are you sure you got the right color pink? From pictures of the march, it looked like most were hot pink. Let us know if you go back to exchange anything

burro, I think your creative mind went into overdrive today, snow and ice and dark days and subzero needed some lighting up. lololol! I think you made the whoooole thing up, just so you could tell a new story.

well, i may have colored it up a bit, but the basic black-and-white nuts-and-bolts of the events are entirely true. for instance, the gal in the beef section didn't really say "nice meat", but i could tell she was thinking it and i wanted her to, it wasn't verbal but she said it with her eyes, so does that count?

let me tell you how efficient i am: in less than 24 hours i decided i wanted a hat, i committed to learning to knit, got all the knitting supplies, watched a bunch of instructional youtube videos, took some practice stitches, undid them because it was all wrong, did some more stitches, took them out again, and then found a nice place on my closet shelf to store my unused knitting supplies, viola.

maybe knitting is like pool, the only way to learn to shoot a bank shot is to have someone lean over your back and wrap their arms around you and show you how its done, hands on kind of thing.

i think i will just stick to trading whiskey and silver, at least i'm good at that. i am still looking to commission a hat if you know a knitter...

After the pitiful story we just heard, I decided to take up this challenge. I have never knitted anything in my entire life. But given my avatar and an over abundance of patience which Donkey can attest to, I believe I am the most qualified candidate. I got this, Donkey!

Disclaimer: I don't have any patience at poker. God knows I tried but every time someone challenges me with their chips, curiosity gets the best of me. I'll learn one of these days.