Warning Only For The Women Readers!

**Miss Piggy** · 03-30-2008, 06:07 PM

1. Men are like ..Laxatives They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Men are like ..Bananas The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like ..Weather Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like ..Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like ..Chocolate Bars Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like ..Commercials You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like ..Department Stores Their clothes are always 1/2 off!
8. Men are like ..Government Bonds They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like ..Mascara They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10.Men are like ..Popcorn They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11.Men are like ..Snowstorms You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12.Men are like ..Lava Lamps Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13.Men are like ..Parking Spots All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
* Sent to me by an affectionate friend.

Just some SUNDAY Fun Guys!

**McDuck** · 03-30-2008, 11:42 PM

Why dogs are better than women...

Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo

Dogs think you sing great

Dogs don't expect you to call when you're running late. The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you

Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs

Dogs don't notice if you call them another dog's name

Anyone can get a good looking dog

Dogs don't shop

Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor

Dogs never need to examine the relationship

A dog's parents never visit

Dogs don't hate their bodies

Dogs never criticize

Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across

Dogs never expect gifts

Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you've had

Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives

You never have to wait for a dog, they're ready to go 24 hours a day

Dogs have no use for flowers, cards or jewelry

Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public

Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk

**GGal** · 03-31-2008, 12:13 AM

Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across

That's the one I could relate to the most. I don't understand why, when I'm only 3 ft away, my DH has to talk so loud when he's making a point!

There's nothing wrong with my hearing, after all.

**Asylum** · 03-31-2008, 12:16 AM

Enjoy ladies!!!

**wv-girl** · 01-09-2009, 05:38 AM

Husband of the Year awards:
The honorable mention goes to The United Kingdom.

...followed closely by
The United States of America

and then .......... Poland

but 3rd Place must go to
Greece.

end of part one

**wv-girl** · 01-09-2009, 05:40 AM

PART 2

It was very very close
but the runner up prize
was awarded to....Serbia.

But the winner of the
husband/partner of the year
is Ireland.
Ya gotta love the Irish.

The Irish are true romantics. Look, he's even holding her hand.

Woman has Man in it;
Mrs. has Mr. in it;
Female has Male in it;
She has He in it;
Madam has Adam in it;
Okay, Okay, it all makes sense now...
I never looked at it this way before:
Ever notice how all of women's problems start with MEN?

MEN tal illness
MEN strual cramps
MEN tal breakdown
MEN opause
GUY necologist
AND .
When we have REAL trouble, it's a
HISterectomy..
Send this to all the women you know to brighten their day.
Send this to all the men just to annoy them.....
Remember You Don't Stop Laughing Because You Grow Old.
You Grow Old Because You Stop Laughing.