[COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=comic sans ms][I]"In the land of idiots, the moron is King."--Unknown[/I][/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=comic sans ms][I]"In the land of idiots, the moron is King."--Unknown[/I][/FONT][/COLOR]
A wise man speaks when he has something to say...A FOOL speaks when he just has to say something
[COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=comic sans ms][I]"In the land of idiots, the moron is King."--Unknown[/I][/FONT][/COLOR]
Ed and Nancy met while on a singles cruise and Ed fell head over heels for her.
When they discovered they lived in the same city only a few miles apart Ed was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home.
Within a couple of weeks, Ed had taken Nancy to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, movies, and museums.
Ed became convinced that Nancy was indeed his soul mate and true love. Every date seemed better than the last.
On the one-month anniversary of their first dinner on the cruise ship, Ed took Nancy to a fine restaurant.
While having cocktails and waiting for their salad, Ed said, "I guess you can tell I'm very much in love with you."
"I'd like a little serious talk before our relationship continues to the next stage."
"So, before I get a box out of my jacket and ask you a life changing question, it's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut, I play golf, I read about golf, I watch golf on TV."
"In short, I eat, sleep, and breathe golf. If that's going to be a problem for us, you'd better say so now."
Nancy took a deep breath and responded, "Ed, that certainly won't be a problem. I love you as you are and I love golf too; but, since we're being totally honest with each other, you need to know that for the last five years I've been a hooker."
Ed said, "I bet it's because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball."
FogSailing
Try to learn something about everything and everything about something.
Cheeseburger Cheeseburger Cheeseburger
http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-li.../3506023?snl=1
Last edited by konakathy; 12-05-2017 at 12:34 AM.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
It’s funny if you can read the captions.
36A8602B-1644-4F71-9B73-7BFBC4103767.jpg
An old man and woman hate each other, but remain married for years. During their shouting fights, the old man constantly warns his wife, "If I die first, I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"
One day, the man abruptly dies. After the burial, the wife goes straight to the local bar and begins to party. Her friends ask if she isn't worried about her husband digging himself out of the grave.
The wife smiles, "Let the old bugger dig. I had him buried upside down!"
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