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Thread: Black Humor (for RED days.)

  1. #1417

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    Default Re: Black Humor (for RED days.)

    [COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=comic sans ms][I]"In the land of idiots, the moron is King."--Unknown[/I][/FONT][/COLOR]

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  3. #1418

    Default Re: Black Humor (for RED days.)

    Russ Buttacovoli, an 80-year-old Italian goes to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, 'how do you stay in such great physical condition?'

    I'm Italian and I am a golfer,' says Russ, 'and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways. I have a glass of vino, and all is well.'

    "'Well' says the doctor, 'I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your Father when he died?

    "Who said he was dead?"

    The doctor is amazed. 'You mean you're 80 years old and your Father's still alive. How old is he?'

    'He's 100 years old,' says Russ. 'In fact he golfed with me this morning,
    and then we went to the topless beach for a walk and had a little vino
    and that's why he's still alive. He's Italian and he's a golfer, too.'

    'Well,' the doctor says, 'that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it than that. How about your Father's Father? How old was he when he died?'

    'Who said my Nonno's dead?'

    Stunned, the doctor asks, 'you mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living! Incredible, how old is he?'

    'He's 118 years old,' says the Old Italian golfer.

    The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, so, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?'

    'No, Nonno couldn't go this morning because he's getting married today.'

    At this point the doctor is close to losing it. 'Getting married? Why would a 118 year- old guy want to get married?'


    'Who said he wanted to get married?'
    A wise man speaks when he has something to say...A FOOL speaks when he just has to say something

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  5. #1419

    Default Re: Black Humor (for RED days.)

    A wise man speaks when he has something to say...A FOOL speaks when he just has to say something

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  7. #1420

    Default Re: Black Humor (for RED days.)




    A wise man speaks when he has something to say...A FOOL speaks when he just has to say something

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  9. #1421

    Default Re: Black Humor (for RED days.)

    A wise man speaks when he has something to say...A FOOL speaks when he just has to say something

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  11. #1422

    Default Re: Black Humor (for RED days.)

    This a conversation between a man and his wife. Please note that she asks five or six questions which he answered quite simply, but then she is speechless after answering only one question.

    l bet this happens more often than not to most husbands out there:

    Woman: Do you drink beer?

    Man: Yes

    Woman: How many beers a day?

    Man: Usually about three

    Woman: How much do you pay per beer?

    Man $5.00 which includes a tip (this is where it gets scary!)

    Woman: And how long have you been drinking?

    Man: About 20 years, I suppose

    Woman: So a beer costs $5 and you have three beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5400 correct?

    Man: Correct

    Woman: If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000 correct?

    Man: Correct

    Woman: Do you know that if you didn’t drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought an airplane?

    Man: Do you drink beer?

    Woman: No.

    Man: Where is your airplane?
    "Too old to rock and roll...too young to die"... - I. Anderson


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  13. #1423

    Default Re: Black Humor (for RED days.)

    I've seen that one before..I still like it
    A wise man speaks when he has something to say...A FOOL speaks when he just has to say something

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  15. #1424

    Default Re: Black Humor (for RED days.)


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  17. #1425

    Default Re: Black Humor (for RED days.)


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  19. #1426

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    Default Re: Black Humor (for RED days.)

    I was having an argument with my wife when I realized with extraordinary pride that I always get in the last words:.....YES DEAR....

    FS
    FogSailing
    Try to learn something about everything and everything about something.

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  21. #1427

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    Default Re: Black Humor (for RED days.)

    [COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=comic sans ms][I]"In the land of idiots, the moron is King."--Unknown[/I][/FONT][/COLOR]

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  23. #1428

    Default Re: Black Humor (for RED days.)


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