Thread: Black Humor (for RED days.)

Funny Stuff!!!!!!!!!laughdog.giffunny%20face.giflol.gif

Fair and balanced now.

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FS

Those were priceless. I may have to refer back to them regularly until the primaries and over. got to say I laughed harder at the Repub one, think there was more creative interps on display there, maybe due to more opportunities?

turducken-comic.jpg

Originally Posted by Cactus

The Devil's Financial Dictionary
by Jason Zweig

Synergy, n. Often, the only thing one company gets when it buys another...

Rumor, n. The Wall Street equivalent of a fact.

Safe, adj. A term used to promote any investment that is about to explode.

Risk, n. The chance that you don't know what you are doing when you think you do; the prerequisite for losing more money in a shorter period of time than you could ever imagine possible...

Long-Term, adj. On Wall Street, a phrase used to describe that begins approximately thirty seconds from now and ends, at most, a few weeks from now.

Plus, conj. Minus. When added to the name of a mutual fund or portfolio strategy, this word almost always signifies the subtraction of something from investors’ results. An “income plus” fund, for instance, typically yields income plus losses. An “index plus” fund generally produces the results of an index portfolio plus greater risk. The use of the word “plus” does, however, accurately indicate the addition of higher fees by the company marketing the investment.

Idiot, n. See Day-Trader

Day-Trader, n. See Idiot

INDIVIDUAL INVESTOR, n. Someone who, without wise advice, is likely to ruin a small portfolio, generally $1 million or less. See INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR, n. Someone who, without wise advice, is likely to ruin a large portfolio, generally $10 million or more. See INDIVIDUAL INVESTOR.

IRRATIONAL, adj. A word you use to describe any investor other than yourself.

Patience, n. A quality found among lower life forms such as snails & tortoises, but rarely among humans who invest in financial assets.

Thrift, n. The obsolete practice of spending less money than you earn, once believed to be a virtue, now regarded as a disturbing form of deviant behavior.


For more, check out the source here: » DictionaryJason Zweig

or the book here: » The Devil’s Financial DictionaryJason Zweig

Looked up day trader and it sent me to idiot which in turn sent me to day trader, great now I'm caught in an infinite loop. LOL

I couldn't help but overhear two guys in their mid-twenties while sitting at the bar last night.


One of the guys says to his buddy: "Man - you look tired."

His buddy says, "Man I'm exhausted. My girlfriend and I have sex all the time. She's after me 3 and 4 times a day,
I just don't know what to do."


A fellow about age 70, sitting a couple of stools down, also overheard the conversation.


He looked over at the two young men, and with the wisdom of years says:
"Marry her. That'll put a stop to that ****."

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You just can't beat Mother Nature!

https://www.youtube.com/embed/5vr66IMAcPA

Russian Motorcyclists are Stupid,Drunk, and Blind

Originally Posted by ravensfan

https://www.youtube.com/embed/5vr66IMAcPA

Russian Motorcyclists are Stupid,Drunk, and Blind

3 words. mef amp fetamean. it is served best on 2 wheels.