Thread: Black Humor (for RED days.)

Really?

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I can dig it....

A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class:
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Little Jimmy says: "I wanna start out as a Navy Pilot, then become a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the Finest whore, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while banging her like a loose screen door in a hurricane."

The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Jimmy , decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson . . . .

"And how about you, Sarah?"


"I wanna be Jimmy’s whore."

WINNING JOKE IN BRITAIN:

An Italian doctor says: "In Italy, medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man's testicles, put them on another man, and in 6 weeks, he is looking for work."

The Dutch doctor says: "That's nothing, in Holland we take part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for work."

The Canadian doctor says: "Gentlemen, we take half a heart from a man, put it in another's chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for work."

The American doctor laughs: "You all are behind us.
Six years ago, we took a man with no brains, no heart, and no balls and made him President. Now, the whole country is looking for work!"

This joke actually won an award for the best joke in a competition held in Britain




















































































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This is funny!

Originally Posted by konakathy

This is funny!

It is funny.

Payback is hell, I like it!smileyrolling.gif

Ever play strip poker?

Dog Dining Alone

Prescription Drugs & Side Effects

A woman asks her husband at breakfast time, "Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee?"

He declines. “Thanks for asking, but, I'm not hungry right now. "It's this Viagra," he says. "It's really taken the edge off my appetite."

At lunchtime, she asks him if he'd like something. "How about a bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?"

He declines. "The Viagra," he says, "really trashes my desire for food."

Come dinner time, she asks if he wants anything to eat. "Would you like a juicy rib eye steak and some scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?"

He declines again. "No," he says, "it's got to be the Viagra. I'm still not hungry."

"Well," she says, "Would you mind letting me up? I'm really starving."

((((RING)))) (((RING)))

**Pick Up**

"Hello?"

"Hi honey, this is Daddy, Is [COLOR=blue !important][COLOR=blue !important]Mommy[/COLOR][/COLOR] near the phone?"

"No Daddy, She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank."

After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle
Frank."

"Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now"

Brief Pause...

"Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the
table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom [COLOR=blue !important][COLOR=blue !important]door[/COLOR][/COLOR], and shout to Mommy that
Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway."

"Okay Daddy, just a minute."

A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone.

"I did it Daddy."

"And what happened honey?" he asked.

"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran
around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the
dresser and now she isn't moving at all!"

"Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Frank?"

"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on too. He was all scared and he
jumped out of the back window and into the [COLOR=blue !important][COLOR=blue !important]swimming [COLOR=blue !important]pool[/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR]. But I guess he
didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the
bottom of the pool and I think he's dead"

***Long Pause***

***Longer Pause***

Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool??? .....Is this 555-7039??"